Reasons I hate conferences, and suggestions for fixing them

(This is about academic conferences, but I guess most of these also apply to industrial conferences.)

It is too much cramming

Attending a conference is like drinking from a firehose. After the first day, conferences become a drag. I can ponder about only so many papers/ideas, but in a conference they keep coming one after the other incessantly, not giving my soul a chance to catch up.

I think what makes it worse is that there is too much context switching going on from one paper to another, and from one session to another. Focused workshops where the presentations/discussions revolve around the same topic work much better, as there is less context switching. I miss some of the self-stabilizing-systems workshops I had been to around 1999-2000. And also can we please have 2 hour long lunch breaks? At a self-stabilization workshop in Luminy, France, we had 3 hour long lunch breaks, and it made the workshop more productive.

Networking is hard

Conferences are hell for introverted people. Trying to meet new people and make conversation is awkward and exhausting.
 
It doesn't have to be that way. It is possible to fix this cheaply with great return-on-investment. At HPTS, Pat Helland gives an orientation talk urging everyone to meet everyone. He tells people to make good use of the 30 minute coffee breaks between the sessions and says that "actually the sessions are there to punctuate the breaks". Such an opening statement sets the stage to smooth-running conference.

It is possible to have pre-conference Zoom meetings in small groups to acquaint people working on related topics before the conference. It is possible to schedule nice (not-the-cheesy-type) ice-breaking activities/games the day before the conference. Between sessions, it is possible to structure 30 minute coffee breaks as multiple round table small group discussions for recapping papers in the session.

Travel and stay logistics suck

It is a hassle and stress to book flights/hotels. Getting there and coming back often are unpleasant and kills two days. Staying three days in confined hotels suck, and you begin to think this was definitely not worth it.

Conferences should provide enough attraction to make the trip worthwhile. I never regretted going to Hawaii for a conference, for example. One time I went to a conference in Montreal, and there was a music festival going in the evenings, which made it a lot of fun and memorable for me. Hiking opportunities is also a good way to move things outside. Holding a conference at a seashore is attractive. Watching the open ocean and walking on the beach listening to waves take away all the stress and exhaustion of the day. Organizing a nice excursion, like a boat ride, or museum visit (Van Gogh museum visit at Sigmod Amsterdam) can also make the trip worthwhile.

Conference organizers should ask themselves "what can we do to make this trip worthwhile for so many participants traveling long distances?" They are responsible for designing and owning the whole conference going experience, and keeping it engaging and tasteful.

Conferences post-Covid

Covid years showed that online conferences can work, but keeping audiences engaged is a big challenge. Traveling entire day for a conference is actually a commitment device. Since you put so much effort in to the travel, you are more incentivized to pay attention. (In theory! After traveling across the world, many people bury themselves to their laptop screens doing email and social media rather than following talks, and that drives me crazy.) When you are attending a conference remotely from your room, it is easy to disconnect. The stakes are low. Easy-come, easy-go.

At SOSP 21, I have seen Gathertown work well for engaging the people.  Gathertown overlays a physical space, where you run into people, look at posters. This makes it feel like going to the conference and running people at the hallways. But we need to find/invent new mechanisms to engage people better for online conferences to work.  

Even if we completely beat Covid, I don't think I will feel comfortable being in the same room as 300+ people all day. Maybe we can have hubs where people gather (e.g. East coast, West coast, Europe) and 50 people in each hub can have in-person attendance, while allowing remote attendance as well. 

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